Saturday, June 25, 2011

Because You Never Asked

I was talking with my husband the other night while we were lying in bed and I had the oddest realization that made me a little sad. I'm not actually sad about it, the thought of it makes me a little sad. I don't know why it came to me, but I just blurted out, "You know...Hardly anyone really knows me. No one ever asks about me or even knows what I do with myself." I think my statement kind of shocked him because he didn't know how to respond. I'm the type of person that people like to sit down and tell all their problems to along with every detail of their lives and they never even ask how I'm doing. I'm the type of person that when I greet someone I always say, "Hi! (Hug) How have you been? or How are you doing?" My husband knows and understands this and gets a little upset at times because he says no one ever listens to me when I need someone to talk to, but they get to use me as their therapists. Of course I have my family and my husband so I'm not really bothered that no one else wants to listen to me on a bad day or when I have great news, but what he says is true. Hmmm...maybe that's why I started wanting to write so I could have an outlet even if no one ever read it. (Maybe???) Does anyone else feel like this?  I'm sure I'm not alone in this. You know what everyone and their mothers are going through yet they have no clue how you're feeling. I'm not complaining about listening to people either. Yes it can get old and tedious to hear the same drama over and over, but all in all I feel I have level headed advice to dispense. My life has always been an open book as far as I'm concerned. I have nothing to hide and I'm not ashamed or regretful of anything I've ever done. I see all of my mistakes as learning experiences. My life is an open book for those who ASK. If you ask me something about myself, I'll be more than happy to tell you. Things don't really phase me much and I'm hardly shocked so I guess that's why I'm so unfiltered when it comes to answering questions about myself. In my case, most people only know what they see and the obvious things about me. "She's girly. She sings. She's married." I'm not writing this blog to throw a pity party for myself because I am quite happy in my life. It  just really upsets me at times because I've had family tell my mother,"Well...we don't really know her." That's the part of all of this that gets under my skin. I've heard several people throught the grapevine say this about me. Well, they don't know me because they obviously don't care enough to know me. When we as human beings really want to know someone else we make an effort. If we care about someone we want to know their interests, dreams, goals, current events, etc. We want to be in the know because we care. I can tell almost every friend of mine their life stories and I bet not a single one can tell me what my father passed away from. (Not that it matter...It's just an example) There are so many things that I do in my life like youtube, product reviews, blog, going back to school etc that no one knows about because they don't take the time to converse with me and get to know what I'm doing with my life.  In reality...I have 4 jobs! Wife, Singer/business owner, Youtube partner, and now blogger which I'm obviously just getting started. I earn money for 3 of those things, so yes they are real jobs! I have to work at them and I do them all because I LOVE them. Things with me are NEVER for money, but I don't like to do things half ass so it's a lot of work. Spare moments are far and few for me. Maybe I am being a little ranty in this blog, but sometimes I get so  sick of being  drowned in everyone else's pity pools that I deserve a little bitch fest of my own. Haha! Maybe it's my fault. Maybe I surround myself with selfish people or maybe it's better off that I keep all of the details of my life to myself. I'll just stay hush hush. It must be like this for a reason. Who knows? I guess I should just leave it at that and be one of those people who shocks people and when they say..."Why didn't you tell us???" I'll respond with a big smile and say, "Because you never asked."

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